TRAUMA

‘I thought I would be over this by now’

I see people for traumas experienced throughout the lifespan, including decades ago. Time is often not enough to heal experiences that affect our basic view of ourselves, other people, and the world. 

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Particularly for folks with repeated experiences, trauma can destroy our ability to trust. Post-traumatic stress usually means we are living in a world where nothing feels safe: not relationships, not institutions supposedly in place to protect us, not even our own judgment. 

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We process traumatic experiences using the mental and emotional coping skills that we learn by what is modeled by our caregivers in childhood. 

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This is why people with what are referred to as ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are at much higher risk of developing PTSD in adulthood. 

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“It could have been worse’

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Minimizing what has happened to us is a way to cope with really difficult things, and sometimes it works, for a while. 

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Lots of the trauma survivors I see are reluctant to even use the term 'trauma' because they're worried that their experiences weren't 'severe enough'. 

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The trouble with repeatedly telling ourselves that the worst things that have ever happened to us aren’t such a big deal is that then we have all this distress and no idea where it’s coming from. 

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Which is when we get into shame. 

I’ve been doing trauma work in varying capacities since 1998. I don’t make promises that I can’t keep- I’m not going to tell you I have a magical cure for trauma- but I can tell you that I have worked with many people who have experienced really severe and repeated harms, and lots of them are better. 

It is possible to rebuild feelings of trust and safety. It starts with a safe relationship. 

I would love to hear from you to help you start this process.